I'm a time traveler...

My name is Honest Jon Presto the Time Traveler. I’m here to regale you with the tale of how I stumbled upon the amazing power of time travel.

It all started last Tuesday…or was it next Thursday?  You’ll have to forgive me, leaping through the space-time continuum can make the days blend together.

Anyway, I was working in my garage on my latest invention – a machine that could toast bread while spreading peanut butter on it. I know, genius right? But as I was calibrating the peanut butter spreading arms, I accidentally crossed the wires with my flux capacitor. Sparks flew and the next thing I knew, I was transported back to the 1950s!

After the initial shock wore off, I realized this was an incredible opportunity to see history first hand. I decided to look up my grandpa Honest Jon Snr, who was a teenager back then. We hit up the local hamburger joint, listened to Elvis records, and watched drag race cars down the main street. I almost erased myself from existence when I introduced rock n’ roll dance moves decades too early, but luckily no lasting damage was done.

Eventually I figured out how to rig up a return trip back to my own time using that decade’s primitive technology and a broken microwave oven. After that, I was hooked on time travel! Now I bounce around through history, observing major events and hanging out with my ancestors.

Just last week I was jamming with Louis Armstrong at a speakeasy, and tomorrow I’m headed to ancient Rome to work on my Latin. The possibilities are endless when you have all of human history at your fingertips! Who knows where or when I’ll turn up next? Just be glad I remembered my time traveler’s creed to not disrupt the timeline too much. We don’t want to accidentally set human progress back by introducing smartphones to cavemen or teaching Excel to babies.